Wednesday, April 28, 2010
George Costanza & Texting while Driving laws...
In a classic episode of Seinfeld, George and Kramer come out of a store with a bottle of wine to discover that they have been blocked in by a double-parker. Irate, George explains to Kramer how incredibly stupid and selfish double-parkers are and that if he ran for president he would insist on "the death penalty for double-parking."
George Costanza for President!!
Today, on the way to work - just like every other day the past couple of years - I found myself almost killed by another Florida lunatic who was texting while driving. I cannot begin to tell you how much I want these people tried, on the side of the road by roving juries, and executed, on the side of the road, by roving execution squads.
Imagine the jobs we could create for the funeral home industry by eliminating these menaces to society! Imagine how we could reduce global warming by getting their cars off the road! Imagine the impact on used-car prices as the families of these idiots have to sell their cars.
The Florida Senate voted 34-4 yesterday to ban texting while driving. The bill would make texting a "secondary violation" - meaning you would have to first be pulled over for doing something else. The first offense would carry a fine of $30 plus court costs. Second offense would be $60. If a driver crashed into me or some other innocent person, six points would be assessed against their drivers license.
The Florida House is NOT expected to to go along with this measure. According to one idiot politician, "There are a lot of things that people do in their cars that are very distracting, and all of them need to be addressed. And it needs to be addressed from a different perspective."
Grow a backbone for Gods sake! Texting leads to six times more dangerous driving conditions than being drunk!
A $30 fine is not going to stop anything when the probablity of getting stopped is so low.
Therefore, until George is elected President I may just take matters in my own hands and pull over texters, have them roll down their window and then beat them with their own phones. (For you internet-police, I am only, like, you-know, sort of, really kidding...)
You texters-while operating 2,000 lbs. of machinery at 70mph are evil and/or stupid and/or selfish.
Turn off your phone and drive so the rest of us can see our families again...