Friday, September 30, 2011

The Irony of Idiocy

As this is being written, anti-capitalism protests are taking place in New York City. The September 30, 2011 Orlando Sentinel reported that "Zuccotti Park is festooned with placards and anti-Wall Street slogans. People sleep wrapped in blankets or sleeping bags, some with donated mattresses. There is a makeshift kitchen and library, and celebrities like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon have stopped by to show support."

I was just wondering where the blankets, sleeping bags, mattresses, food for the makeshift kitchens, kitchen supplies, books for the library, pens for the placards and the placards came from? Could it possibly be that all of the supplies the protestors are using - including the clothes they are wearing - came from some capitalist seeking the very profit they despise? Is it possible that Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon rely on movie-making equipment that was created by those who would desire monetary gain?


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Warren Buffett..

The Obama Administration is now setting tax policy based on Warren Buffett's belief that he does not pay enough in income taxes. Lovely. If Warren Buffett is undertaxed he can stop claiming the deductions that have lowered his effective tax rate and he can look at line 75 of his tax return that allows him to send in extra money if he wants to.

Mr. Buffett claims he and other millionaires do not need the money. He could also give that money he does not need to charity or to a new business that is struggling to get started.

Mr. Buffett - and by extension, Barack Obama - should understand that different people derive different 'utility' from each dollar earned. If Buffett has very little utility for his extra dollars that does not mean the millionaire next to him has the same utility for their dollars.

To impose, unilaterally, a new tax increase that presupposes all millionaires are the same and that all millionaires do not need the money and that all millionaires would not put their money to productive use is not only patently stupid but indicative of the fact that President Obama is economically ignorant on a scale we have not seen since FDR.

Monday, September 12, 2011

One Question...

Are the citizens of the United States more free, less free or as free as we were 10 years ago? Your answer and comments are greatly appreciated.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Why I should be Commissioner of the NFL

Finally, thankfully, the NFL season is upon us. After seven long months of golf, NASCAR, the NBA, the endless baseball season, tennis, debt ceiling debates and Casey Anthony, we can finally return, as Americans, to a sense of normalcy as we turn the page to that glorious month called September.

That said, I am increasingly displeased with the National Football League and the way it is run. As an old-school football fan there is much to complain about when examining todays game. Thus, I would like to offer up what I would do if the NFL owners decided to make me the next commissioner of the NFL.

1. Haircuts. Today's game looks like girls running around in shoulder pads. I would go to every training camp in July with a ruler and a pair of scissors. All hair 2" below the bottom of your helmet would be cut off. The removed hair would be bagged up, tagged and sold on eBay to raise money for what comes next....

2. Pink in October. Instead of letting the players look even more like girls by wearing pink during Breast Cancer Awareness Month I would take the proceeds from the haircut auction (Tom Brady's hair alone should raise enough money to cure breast cancer...) and put it towards this worthy goal. However, any player caught wearing pink in October would be fined and forced to watch 100 straight hours of Julia Roberts movies.

3. Cheerleaders. NONE, ZERO, ZIP. Football has no place for strippers on the sidelines. Only a handful of teams in the NFL (Steelers and Bears for example) do not allow cheerleaders to parade around. Under my rule there would be zero cheerleaders ever again so that we can maintain the integrity of the game.

4. Fan behavior. I no longer go to NFL games because getting beaten, shot at or cursed like I am a dog is something I am fond of. Some fans (Oakland, Miami) are the worst. Going to a Dolphins game is like sitting with 70,000 convicts who are on leave for the weekend - and that is being unfair to convicts. I have seen grandmothers drop the 'F'-bomb on their grandsons during games. My policy would be simple. All stadiums would have mixed martial arts fighters, bouncers, NAVY SEALS (retired) and assorted folks who are good with their fists and/or guns and/or bricks to patrol the stands looking and listening for drunks, bad language or pending physical confrontations. My security staff would beat senseless all fans who are suspected of any transgression that could not have been shown on a 1950s television program.

5. Kickoffs. The NFL has moved kickoffs to the 35-yard line to reduce the number of violent collisions and thus injuries by encouraging "touchbacks". Sissy stuff! The kickoff should be moved back the the 20-yard line with legal wedges like the old days.

6. Speaking of the old days. No longer would quarterbacks be given invisible dresses to wear. They are men, treat them like it. It would be legal to smash them - and other offensive players - like the 1970s. Helmet to helmet contact? Yes, that is called football.

7. Commercials. This is a game kids should be allowed to watch without commercials depicting murder, rape, robbery or porn.

8. Celebrations. Any endzone celebration would mean the loss of the touchdown and a 20 yard penalty. Any moron who dances around or beats his chest for "doing his job!!" by making a tackle or gaining seven yards on a slant pass would be penalized 20 yards and would be required to do pushups with John Madden standing on his back during halftime.

9. Uniforms. Knee pads must cover the knees. Pants cannot fit to make it appear you are nude. No players can wear gloves (use your hands, you sissy...) and helmets would have facemasks with one bar made out of balsa wood.

10. Super Bowl Sunday - back to the last Sunday in January, during the day with no halftime show other than the local high school band.

That is all. Enjoy the season.