A Libertarian Guide to Social Distancing

I hate to admit this but all this social distancing stuff is coming pretty easy for me.   As a Libertarian (since around 4 seconds after George H.W. Bush became president) I have long valued being, well, alone.

The Republican party has the elephant for a mascot.  The Democrats have a Jackass (insert joke here).  The Libertarians have a porcupine!  Think about it.  The porcupine is a solitary animal who just wants to be left alone to look for food and other porcupines.   Voluntary association is the hallmark of a good porcupine.   If you bother one you get a face full of quills.

For around 50 years I have been the human equivalent of a porcupine.  The one friend I have who lives near me (my Texas and Tennessee friends do visit much...) also happens to be my wife.  I do not own a cell phone because I find human contact overrated.  I therefore have no social media presence.  This blog does not count because I post what I think and do not really care what people think about what I think.  I don't ask for, or expect, "likes" because I do not care what you like.  I like what I like and then, if I feel like it, share it with other people.

I have been this way forever.   When I was in Eugene Field Elementary school in Hugo, Oklahoma, I used to run a way every year during the school picnic to play in the woods with whatever kid I could convince to break out with me.  The moment the teacher had us stand in a socialistic line to march to the park I was plotting my escape.  Right after lunch I would bolt with my willing partners and not come back until it was time for all the sheep to march back to school.

In the first grade, on my very first report card, my teacher wrote, "Jack is progressing well but refuses to comply with society's standards of behavior."  Damn right. Society is not my boss.  I, as a six-year old, felt that I was my boss until I got home and my parents let me know that I needed to comply with some rules - or get a belt across the behind for refusing.

With this Coronavirus I find that my life has not changed much.  I still have one friend who I hang out with regularly.   I am now at home, with my wife and dog Jake and I am fine.   I have been re-watching Stranger Things, working out, folding socks for the first time since Obama was president, cooking a little more often and doing projects that need to be done.  I miss talking to my students but they are fine.   I miss sports on television but not enough to stress over it.   Since I have never texted anyone, I do not miss that.  Since I am not on Instagram I do not miss that.  

I would recommend to anyone reading this to consider the possibility that most human interaction is not necessary and in fact, is actually pretty annoying.   Do you miss the way people drive on the roads?  Do you miss people blathering on their phones in restaurants and movies?  Probably not.   

I think the world would be a better place if we could just learn to enjoy our time away from each other.  Maybe we would be a little nicer, a little more tolerant and actually engage in meaningful conversation once we are allowed to hang out again.

Until then, enjoy the solitude.  After all, unless you hate yourself you will enjoy your company.